Reflections

I love reflecting at the end of the year; I love looking back and seeing where I've grown and where I see myself going in the future. I won't go into details but I feel I have learned the most about friendships and about acceptance of who I am. At the beginning of last year I experienced some harsh realizations when it comes to some women I had in my life as "friends." I was shocked (apparently I am naive to such things) at just how catty and judgemental some people can be. I was so hurt that it took me a good couple of months to not get upset over little things directed towards me and I HATE that. I so wish, and fear I probably never will be, that I was one of those people who could just let things roll off of my back and forget about how hurt I might feel. I am just too darn sensitive; a baby, one might say ;) It was difficult to 'take the high road' if you will and not do the same bad mouthing that I knew was going on but you know, several people advised me that the truth would come out eventually and I can begin to see that it has. I can't say it wasn't easy sitting back and not defending myself sometimes but I learned a great deal from that one exercise alone.

This decision also really helped lead me to begin to try and just be a better person overall. To seek God's will and direction and most of all, strength. I also really learned a lot about the people that I had around me that were better friends than I gave them credit for. I have really tried to let those people know just how much I do care for them and to apologize for not realizing it before. I actually have gratitude towards those that caused me the pain b/c in spite of them I am happier in my life!

I can't wait to make old friendships even stronger and to learn how I can be a better person and friend in the meantime this upcoming year. Who would think that at ALMOST 30 I would still be having to figure this stuff out??